As Shared Today on Facebook.

Dear future husband,

I have NEVER pounded in my life, and I am NOT willing to learn because my hands are not meant for pounding.
If you like pounded yam, I will be a nice wife and help you cook the yam, then you can pound it yourself.
Alternatively, buy a pounder.
Alternatively, hire someone to do the pounding.

I can do all other bits of cooking, I don't mind. But not all those things that require too much muscles like pounding and grinding with a stone. Nah!

I haven't handwashed anything but my panties (only a few times) in over 10 years. H is for hands, and hands are not for washing clothes. But not to worry, there are many options.
Option 1. We will buy a washing machine. (My recommendation)
Option 2. Get a dry cleaner.
Option 3. Hire someone to wash them.
Option 4. Wash them yourself.

I'm not on earth to suffer. And there's no award or medal reserved for the most long-suffering wife.

I was "ajeborized" from birth by my parents. I was "kpakoed" as a boarding student in secondary school. I have since after secondary school gone back to my "ajeborized" default setting. I will not come and start suffering anyhow.

If you need a chef, I can be one as long as I won't pound, grind or use my muscles.
If you need someone to do your laundry, then I'm definitely not the one for you.

My nails will be impeccably done by a professional manicurist. My hands will be moisturized ready to perform some very important duties like a hand job and unsolicited massages. These should be your priorities, not having me pound yam for you.

Your future wife,
Nkechi Cheery Bianze. ❤

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