I love British and American accents. Yeah, I do. I love the way many Brits omit the ‘t’ from ‘forget’ as if to challenge their ancestors about what they feel is an unnecessary inclusion of that letter at the end of that word. I like to listen to Americans talk. A black American stressing his words as his hands speak a visual language of their own, is a spectacle I always find exciting to watch. His dramatic sentences can begin first as words jogging on a plain, and then sharply shooting up to the mountains where one word—just one word—becomes a sustained marathon of music that suddenly dives into the calm sea of normal speech. I love British and American accents. Seriously. What I don’t like is the imitation (and subsequent corruption) of these lovely ways of speaking the English language. It is amusing to listen to Nigerians, who have never crossed the borders of the motherland, talking to their fellow citizens with a foreign accent. I find...