New Year Message:How Do You Overcome Hurt and Move On with Your Life..

The Year just started and you still took the Hurt of Last Year into this New Year .My Dear Read Below and Enjoy it,it will Help you grow.

Are You Feeling Hurt?

Life is often a roller-coaster ride of emotions. It’s full of ups and downs, and filled with many surprises along the way. It’s nice to think that you will always be happy and fulfilled, but unfortunately that’s not quite possible living in our social world. Sooner or later things will not turn out as you had hoped for and you will end up hurt. However, feeling hurt isn’t a bad thing. It’s kind of a “wake-up call” that you can effectively use to go down a different path that will bring you a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness in the future.

Reasons for Feeling Hurt

If you have a think about the reasons why you’re feeling hurt, what you will realize is that most of these reasons are actually based on your perspective of the situation. What this suggests is that you are actually aggravating your feelings by thinking a certain way about the situation. This is very important, because the moment you transform your thinking, is the moment you shift your perspective of the situation and begin seeing things anew — in more empowering ways. Therefore feeling hurt is often nothing more than a state-of-mind — an interpretation you have made about your experience.

Let’s quickly take a look at a variety of reasons why you might be feeling hurt:

You are feeling hurt because someone did something or behaved in a certain way, and this has hurt your feelings.You are feeling hurt because of the impatience shown by another person in a specific situation. You are perceiving their impatience as a personal attack on you, and this has caused you to feel miserable.You are feeling hurt because you have a victim mentality. You feel sorry for yourself and sorry for your life. Everything that happens to you seems like a direct personal attack.You are feeling hurt because you have an unmet need for self-love. This “need” is craving for love and attention from others. This makes you very susceptible to people’s opinions and criticisms.You are feeling hurt because you feel as though you’ve been betrayed, disrespected, rejected, deceived, let down, or unfairly accused or criticized.You are feeling hurt because you lack attention to detail. Something has happened, however things aren’t clear — there’s a misunderstanding resulting from a miscommunication.

Going down this list it’s easy to see how your feelings of being hurt result from a combination of how you perceive a situation and how others tend to respond to you throughout the day. You have control over your perceptions and can change them at will, however you don’t have control over other people’s opinions, behavior and actions. People will at times say and do things that will hurt you. However, often these things have nothing to do with you but are rather based on people’s own insecurities and problems. For this very reason it’s important you don’t take things personally, and instead practice detaching yourself from these emotional situations.

The Consequences of Feeling Hurt

Being overly sensitive to other people’s feelings, actions and opinions can often put a significant strain on your relationships. In fact, your hurt feelings can pile up over time, which can eventually lead to resentment, then anger, then sadness, and finally a deep state of depression. It will force you to hold onto grudges, to seek revenge, to lose all faith and trust in people, and to wallow in cynicism and self-pity.

All of this stems from the fact that you are taking things too seriously and personally. Everything another person does seems to be a direct attack on you and your personality. You feel as though other people are out to get you — as though the world is after you. However, this is rarely the case. Your perceptions are clouding your vision and triggering your hurt feelings.

In the event that another person did hurt your feelings on purpose, it’s important to understand that they did this because they are in pain and they are also hurting in some way. The moment you realize this, is the moment you can act with compassion rather than in anger or any other emotion that might aggravate the situation.

The Process for Overcoming Hurt

Overcoming hurt feelings isn’t easy. It takes patience and time to work through these emotional wounds. However, it is possible and can be done. Here is a four step process you can work through whenever you are feeling hurt:

Step 1: Settle Down Your Emotions

The moment you are hurt, it’s important to immediately settle yourself down to prevent your emotions from overwhelming you. The best way to do this is to remove yourself from the situation and take some time to calm your emotions and settle your mind. This period of separation will prevent you from jumping to rash conclusions about the situation. Maybe things aren’t as they seem to be. At the very least, this separation will help you to avoid further conflict that could potentially aggravate your emotions and the situation even more.

Step 2: Get Clear About What Exactly Happened

Now that you are alone, it’s important that you take time to reflect about the events that have transpired. Try to understand what exactly happened, what the person said or did, and also try and gain some insight into your own behavior, reactions and the emotions you are feeling in the moment. Ask yourself:

What happened?

How did I initially feel about this situation?

What was my initial response to this situation?

Why did I respond in this way?

How am I feeling at this very moment?

Why am I feeling this way?

These questions will help you pinpoint what exactly is happening on the surface. However, your hurt feelings might actually go a little deeper. Maybe your feelings of hurt have nothing to do with this moment but rather stem back to a culmination of events that have taken place over a period of time. Ask yourself:

What is really causing my feelings of hurt?

Do these feelings of hurt go beyond these events?

What could be the underlying cause of my feelings?

What important insights do I gain from this analysis?

If you realize that your feelings of hurt do not necessarily stem from this particular situation, then you have some work to do on a personal level to resolve past feelings that are actually causing you pain. For this very reason it’s important that you take under consideration your past hurts throughout this period of self-reflection.

Let’s now reflect upon and consider the other person’s perspective of the situation and why they did what they did. Ask yourself:

What was the other person trying to do?

Why did they do or say these things?

What are they trying to gain from this situation?

Did they just hurt me, or did they also hurt other people as well?

What could have triggered their words and/or behavior? Was it stress?

Now take some time to consider possible misunderstandings and maybe even the other person’s real intentions. Could it be possible that your assumptions about the other person’s intentions might be in error? Ask yourself:

Did they hurt me intentionally?

Am I potentially misreading this person’s intentions?

What could their real intentions be in this situation?

Do they have my best interests at heart?

What if there is a misunderstanding here?

What information will I need from the other person to clarify this situation?

It’s possible that the other person got caught up in the heat of the moment and said or did things they didn’t mean. Likewise, it’s also possible that they are in pain themselves. They are hurting, and unfortunately directing this energy onto you. This should therefore indicate that their words and actions have absolutely nothing to do with you, but rather all to do with their own personal insecurities. Ask yourself:

Could they be hurting in some way?

What could be the source of their pain?

How could I best get them to open up and talk about their feelings?

Finally, it’s important that you re-evaluate your expectations of the circumstances and the people involved. Thank you..

To be continued....

Photo Credit :SMO