Getting Over Heart break.

A lot of people read my blogs, not because I’m such a great blogger, but because the topic touches right where we live. Just about everyone reaches out to be loved, but love is full of risks. To love is to be vulnerable and therefore easily hurt by the people we love the most. God designed us to love, for He is love Himself. Not to love causes a certain death deep inside of us. I received a comment this week from an anonymous person. He said, I have a better piece of advice: Don’t ever fall in love in the first place. Just don’t do it. It always leads to heartbreak and it’s never worth it. If you never let yourself fall in love with anyone, then you will never have to worry about getting over a broken heart. It’s as simple as that.� I disagree with Anonymous. To really live is to really die. Being hurt is not the worst thing that will ever happen to us. Not to love is far worse.

Being hurt is not the worst thing that will ever happen to us. Not to love is far worse.CLICK TO TWEET

So how do you get over a heartbreak that will most assuredly at some point come our way? I have come up with 15 ways to help heal a broken heart:

Be careful…don’t date destructive people to begin with.Allow yourself to be human and feel the pain.Immediately take your broken heart to God.Take heart, you won’t die.Don’t overreact and embarrass yourself.Talk to someone who cares.Give yourself time to heal.Learn lessons from the experience.Don’t over analyze.Don’t go into rebound dating.Let go of mementos.Keep yourself busy by giving to others.Get into exercise/eating right.It’s mostly about you, not your exMove on

I want to write about the 7th-10th reasons in this blog. If you have not read about the first 6, check the other blogs in my Broken Heart series. They are all there for you.

1. Give yourself time to heal. 
If your heart has been broken, it will take time for you to completely heal.Every wound or hurt takes time to heal, and having a broken heart is no different. At the time of the break-up, almost everyone thinks they will never feel normal again. But God has designed us so we will heal from wounds. It’s amazing to see how our human spirit comes back again. Some people heal faster than others. Some people’s emotions go deeper than others. The deeper your emotions, the longer it will take to heal. But sooner or later you will begin to feel alive again and you will learn to accept this new feeling. Don’t fight the healing process and you will be on your way to smiling again in no time. The best thing in the world for a broken heart is time. It’s going to hurt for a while and some days will be better than others, but you will eventually get over the person you lost.� (Lindsey)

The best thing in the world for a broken heart is time

2. Learn lessons from the experience.

…everything happens for a reason. And if it is something that will change your life, then let it.�

It’s not if difficult things will happen to us. It is inevitable that they will. The question is can we learn from the experience? If we don’t learn, we will keep doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same response. So during this time of hurt, you might want to ask yourself some meaningful questions about your broken relationship. For example:

Did you fail to communicate openly?Were you insensitive to your partner’s feelings?Were you too possessive or selfish?Were you physical sexually?Were you dishonest in the relationship?Am I learning how other people can be hurt?

Answers to these and other questions can help you be a much deeper person, better equipped for your next relationship. It is always easy to remember that life goes on, no one promised it would be easy, but everything happens for a reason. And if it is something that will change your life, then let it.� (Brian T.)

3. Don’t over analyze.

Over analysis over a broken relationship only leads to confusion, depression, and massive waste of time.

Some people (and this may be you) are big time dwellers. They spend hours analyzing every last detail about the relationship. These people always end up getting confused and coming to the wrong conclusion because they cannot look at the situation in a balanced way. They end up either worshiping their ex or hating them for what has happened. Over analysis over a broken relationship only leads to confusion, depression, and massive waste of time. Once you’ve thought through what went wrong with the relationship and what was good about it, let it go or you will cause yourself unnecessary drama and heartache in the depths of your heart. Staying busy doing other things will help you from dwelling too much over the past.  Don’t over analyze things. I think a lot of people do that after getting out of a relationship…they may question themselves…What did I do wrong?; was it me?;  you know stuff like that.  And those people who question themselves are the main ones (sometimes) that get tied down and can’t move on with their life� (riah)

4. Don’t go into rebound dating.
While it is important to move on and be around other people, beware of rebound dating.

I go right back to guys to try to solve the problem and it starts all over again.�

Rebound dating is when you use someone else in a romantic relationship in the hopes they will help you feel better or remind you of the other person who has broken up with you. Rebound dating causes you to experience the horrors of comparing the new person you are dating with your last love. Comparing others never works. For one thing, you no doubt have a distorted view of your last love. No one will meet those standards. The new person you will begin to care about will be quite different than the one you lost. Try dating just for fun or hanging out just to get to know people better. But remember, panic rebound dating never works. I get all depressed over something that was totally a waste of time and tears. Then, I go right back to guys to try to solve the problem and it starts all over again.� (CJ) CJ is a rebounder. Try not to fall into that trap.

Have a great weekend.