Domestic Violence Alert:when is it safe to speak out?

Domestic violence is becoming the order of the day.

A few years back, you would hear of it in whispers but rarely out in the open like it is now.

On the TV, over the radio and especially on the internet, you hear the news of one domestic violence or the other. Sometimes, you even see some gory images.

The number of women who have lost their lives as a result of this continues to increase to our dismay.

Gone are the days of male chivalry where it is expected that every man should love, care for and protect his wife with everything he’s got.

It cannot be assumed so any longer.

There are good men. But there also are bad men.

Instead of standing up for her if she’s being spoken to aggressively, especially by another man, they are the culprits. They speak to her in a manner that is demeaning, threatening and of no value.

If you didn’t like her enough to respect her and treat her nicely, why bother bringing her into your house?

A real man will believe in, and support his wife. He will fiercely protect her and her interest. He will correct her in kindness.

Hitting a woman is not a show of strength; it is a sign of weakness and lack of self control.

Some people would argue that some women bring it on themselves by the way they behave.

I ask how?

There is simply no justification for any man who lifts his hand to beat up his wife no matter how provoked he is.

Especially not beating her to death.

What is the Way Out?

As women, we are taught to endure.

You hear so many well-meaning family members and friends tell you how you should try to handle everything inside your bedroom.

But these same people will be the first to ask, “Why didn’t she say something when he first started?”

Here are some Indicators that you don’t need to play the silent card but get help. An excerpt from the webmd.com gives the following indicators for Domestic Violence.

Does your partner:

Embarrass you with put-downs?Look at you or act in ways that scare you?Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?Take your money or paycheck, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money?Make all of the decisions?Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?Threaten to commit suicide?Prevent you from working or going to school?Act like the abuse is no big deal or is your fault, or even deny doing it?Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other weapons?Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?Threaten to kill you?

 

If any of these things or other types of abuse are happening, you need to seek help. It’s important to know that you are not alone. The way your partner acts is not your fault. Help is available.

Signs that someone you know is being abused

Do you have a friend, coworker, relative, or neighbor who you think may be in an abusive relationship?

Here are some signs to watch for:

Bruises or injuries that look like they came from choking, punching, or being thrown down. Black eyes, red or purple marks at the neck, and sprained wrists are common injuries in violent relationships.Attempting to hide bruises with makeup or clothingMaking excuses like tripping or being accident-prone or clumsy. Often the seriousness of the injury does not match up with the explanation.Having few close friends and being isolated from relatives and coworkers and kept from making friendsHaving to ask permission to meet, talk with, or do things with other peopleHaving little money available; may not have credit cards or even a car

 Let’s be more aware of those around us.

People who suffer from domestic abuse especially in our society will most often than not, suffer in silence.

For those in this situation, please don’t keep making excuses for him until it is too late.

If you need someone to talk to, reach out.

Fear or shame is your greatest enemy. “What would people say” should not matter to you.

Your children need you.

Your family want you alive.

You are not alone.

No matter what you have been told, you are worthy of love, respect and are to be cherished.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk to.

You matter.

Today

Please spare a moment to celebrate the women in your life today.

We are stronger together.