Jealousy and is Effect .....

Reasons Your Partner Is So Jealous — And What You Can Do To Change It

Jealousy can rip apart a relationship, slowly but surely obliterating everything good about everything and leaving you feeling pretty awful. This may sound harsh, but if it’s your reality, you probably are wondering what can I do about a jealous partner? No one wants to live with a super jealous partner, but if you’re in love with a jealous type, and you want to stay together, something has to change.

The good news is that it’s possible to find a solution. I spoke with nine relationship experts, and they all conveyed a sense of positivity about the whole thing, reminding us that it is possible to find real change within a relationship, as long as both parties are really serious about figuring out what to do. They all gave great tips to seek a better, easier situation together, and revealed excellent advice as to what exactly you should do if you’re dealing with a jealous boo. No matter what the cause, jealousy is awful, and there’s no need to just accept it as part of your reality. Many experts cited insecurity as a sure-fire cause of jealousy, and gently shared some great methods to open up with your partner and figure out how to take their jealousy down a notch (or five). Keep these nine things in mind if you’re working with a jealous mate.

1. They’re Insecure

“Some partners are extremely jealous because of an insecurity developed within,” author and relationship expertAlexis Nicole White tells Bustle. “Perhaps they have been cheated on, or they have spent a lot of time with an individual that makes them develop a general mistrust or distrust of others.” This is not your fault, but if the end result is a serious jealous streak, it is your problem.

“While this is not healthy, the only thing you can really do to prevent this from happening is to be who you say you are, do what you said you’re doing, and be where you’re supposed to be to build up that level of trust,” she says. If, after a long time of being trustworthy, your partner is jealous as ever, it’s time for a serious chat.

2. They Learned Jealousy When They Were Young

“Some partners may be jealous because of what they viewed in their family of origin — the family that they grew up in,” Texas-based psychotherapist Richard E. Toney tells Bustle. “Or some partners may be jealous for issues related to emotional attachment.” It’s possible that they saw something in their childhood that taught them to be wary of people, or that they have trouble attaching without anxiety.

“Either way, there is nothing that you as a significant other can do to change this,” Toney says. “An issue of this sort has to be worked out within the heart and mind of the jealous partner.” You’re welcome to bring it up and request that your partner work on it, though. “An individual who has a jealous partner can do nothing wrong and still have a jealous partner question them about things that they’ve done.” That sucks — and if it happens, be sure to gently point out how this might be something they need to have a good look at.

3. They’re Understanding Your Journey Incorrectly

“Jealousy is a bastardization of love, it is an inaccurate understanding of someone else's journey,” Darren Pierre, educator, speaker and author of The Invitation to Love: Recognizing the Gift Despite Pain, Fear, and Resistance , tells Bustle. “Often, if we knew what it took to live the life of someone else, the sacrifices that are made, or the toll it can take on other areas, we would see our jealousy muted, respect rise, and a clear invitation for us to make changes in our life.”